Behind Every Declassification Is a Questionable Amount of Personnel.
The Staff and Teams
of Dog Declassified
Left to right - Back Row: Alexander (Bloodhound), Julius, Phineas (Beagle), Vincent, JD, Griffin (Golden Retriever), Frankie
Middle Row: Zoey, Luca (Border Terrier puppy), Leo (Std. Poodle), JT, Bella (Doberman), Anna
Front: Jax (Jack Russell Terrier), Jasper (Fox Terrier), Oliver (Catahoula Leopard Dog), Susie (Flat Coated Retriever)
DOG DECLASSIFIED is a team of humans and dogs working across a growing number of departments, each responsible for a different part of the recovery, review, processing, and release of canine evidence.
When new material comes in, it is routed wherever it needs to go. A single file may pass through several departments before it is cleared for public release. Research is examined. Records are compared. Language is deciphered. Questions are raised. Questions are raised about the questions. Occasionally, something is sent back because nobody can determine who approved it in the first place.
The departments help keep the work organized. Mostly.
But the lines between them are not particularly rigid. We are a relatively small operation, and humans and dogs regularly assist outside their assigned departments. Researchers become couriers. Archivists become investigators. Retrievers retrieve things that were not specifically requested.
So while you’ll see different department names throughout DOG DECLASSIFIED, they are all parts of one working team.
Different departments. Different jobs. One pack.
Together, we follow the evidence wherever it leads.
Even when it leads back to Window 3.
TEAM BABEL decodes a D.D.C.A. acronym. From Left: Zoey, JT and Frankie
TEAM FETCHERS dogs Griffin and Susie deliver files at the office.
B.A.B.E.L. (Behavioral Archive Bureau for Editorial Linguistics)
We read the original so you don't have to.
Team: Frankie A., JT
S.C.R.I.B.E. (Source Conservation, Reconstruction, Interpretation & Behavioral Expression)
The research survives. The wording gets help.
Team: Zoey D., Frankie A., JT
S.N.I.F.F.E.R. (Specialist in Notable Intelligence, Files, Finds & Evidence Recovery)
Finding what everyone else stopped looking for.
Team: JD, Anna J., Phineas (Beagle), Alexander (Bloodhound)
F.I.N.D. (Field Intelligence & Notable Discoveries)
Discovery accepted. Paperwork pending.
Team: Vincent J., Zoey D., Phineas (Beagle), Oliver (Catahoula Leopard Dog)
D.I.G.G.E.R. (Dog Intelligence, Genealogy & General Evidence Recovery)
Bringing buried evidence back to the surface.
Team: Vincent J., Jax (Jack Russell Terrier), Jasper (Fox Terrier), Luca (Border Terrier in training)
S.C.O.U.T. (Specialist in Canine Origins & Unresolved Trails)
When research requires a car ride. "Car ride??”
Team: Anna J., Oliver (Catahoula Leopard Dog), Luca (Border Terrier in training), Jax (Jack Russell Terrier)
S.I.F.T. (Source Investigation & Forensic Testing)
Nothing is too insignificant to become significant.
Team: Julius B., Alexander (Bloodhound)
T.R.A.C.E.R. (Trait Reconstruction & Ancestral Canine Evidence Researcher)
Because the squirrel thing didn't start yesterday.
Team: Julius B., Alexander (Bloodhound), Oliver (Catahoula Leopard Dog)
M.A.P.P.E.R. (Modern Adaptation Pattern & Personality Evaluation Researcher)
Old instincts. New addresses.
Team: Zoey D., Anna J., Bella (Doberman Pinscher)
F.E.T.C.H.E.R.S. (Files, Evidence, Transcripts & Canine History Extraction Routing System)
Special Delivery ... with teeth marks.
Team: JD, Griffin (Golden Retriever), Susie (Flat Coated Retriever)
S.T.A.M.P. (Standards, Testing & Approval for Material Publication)
Nothing gets out without us.
Team: Frankie A., JT, Leo
T.I.P. (Trainer Insight Provided)
Modern solutions for canine mischief.
Team: JD, JT, Leo, Susie
F.E.E.D. (Food, Espresso & Edible Distribution)
Research requires calories.
Team: Anna J., Julius B., Phineas (Beagle), Griffin (Golden Retriever)
WINDOW 3
PROCESSING DELAY: Personnel assigned to this matter are currently assigned to another matter.
TEAM SNIFFER processing latest finds. From Left: Alexander, JD, Anna, and Phineas
PERSONNEL STATUS
Multiple hats currently in circulation.
Processing may take longer than anticipated. Your patience is genuinely appreciated.
MEET THE ARCHIVAL PERSONNEL
DEPARTMENT & TEAMS
New dossiers. Closed cases. Pending investigations. New divisions. Occasional developments from Dog Declassified.
Sign up for updates from Headquarters.
About 3–4 emails a month. No daily briefings. We have actual investigating to do.
Unsubscribe anytime. See our Privacy Policy.
Stay on the case.
Sign up for Updates.
© 2026 Dog Declassified. All rights reserved.
Contact Headquarters
Questions, comments, corrections, or suspicious canine activity? Send us a message.
Dog Declassified is independently researched and created. The DDCA, its departments, personnel, archival materials, and organizational narrative are fictional elements used to present canine history, behavior, and research in an engaging format.